


Takes One To Know One

by jargonelle



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-03-01 12:35:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2773193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jargonelle/pseuds/jargonelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She gets it now, what Dennis has been trying to teach her; sex, like everything else in their lives, is better when it’s a performance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Takes One To Know One

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, no excuses for this one. If you are looking for plot, there isn't any here. 
> 
> Set sometime between 'The Gang Saves the Day' and 'The Gang Squashes Their Beefs'.

She takes his voice first, tells him to shut up and stuffs a dildo in his mouth. ‘Suck on that, loser.’ He slurps it in, and she likes that, likes that he’ll drool and grunt, and maybe if she’s lucky, he’ll choke on his own bile and do her work for her.

She takes his clothes next, strips him down and crumples them on the floor. He presents himself without hesitation, hands on hips, pelvis cocked forward, so she frowns and scrapes her nails over his stomach and his thighs. It satisfies her to unbalance him, and with a mocking stroke to his jaw she shoves him to the bed, and he stumbles and crashes to earth.

She turns him onto his back and straddles him, takes his hands in hers, interlocks their fingers. ‘Relax your throat,’ she says, ‘I know we can go further’.

She shows him more care than he deserves by leaving the zip ties around his wrists a little loose, but pulls tight the third she uses to link them together. The sound it makes ripples through him into her as he bucks his hips up against the crotch of her jeans. He stretches his arms above his head, and just can’t stop himself from thrusting out his chest. She takes another tag from the bundle he’d pulled from his car and twirls it wonderingly around her finger, makes a ring. His eyes widen then, and he nods towards where she’s sat over his groin.

‘Seriously, you son of a bitch?’ she asks, snapping it sharp against her skin. ‘You want me to band your ugly balls, tie your tiny dick up and just wait ‘til it all falls off, make you the pretty daughter Mom always wanted?’ He closes his eyes and shivers and sweats, and she tenses her thighs, rides it out with him. He takes what feels like forever to come back to her, so she pinches his nipples, hard. She gets it now, she thinks, what Dennis has been trying to teach her; sex, like everything else in their lives, is better when it’s a performance.

They sync up then, breathing in turn, until he breaks the eye contact and the silence, twists his head to the side and spits out his gag, obviously trying to take back control. ‘God, that was good,’ he says, ‘Didn’t know you had it in you, Sweet Dee. You may earn your five star rating yet.’ She doesn’t give a fuck what Dennis thinks, but then again, there’s no one in the universe whose opinion matters to her more. She hates him.

He wrestles with her, eventually managing to flip them so she’s the one on her jolted back, and he’s the one panting from the effort. His hands still bound, he unbuttons her shirt, takes off her belt, and helps her wriggle out of the jeans they’ve stained inside and out. 

‘I’m not blowing you,’ she says, taking the wind out of his sails. ‘I have a very refined palette and it comes with a very sensitive gag reflex. And you’re not sticking your prick in me. No desire to do the baby thing again.’

‘No desire to spawn one’. Dennis takes a step back, wanders over to her dresser, and poses for the camera he set up just for the occasion. ‘A child of ours? Half god, half bird, we’d be lucky if it wasn’t some kind of harpy.’ He pauses for dramatic effect, takes a second look at his reflection. ‘But luckily I’ve thought of another way you can get off with me.’ He snatches the dildo back from where it landed on the floor and presents it with a flourish, winks. ‘You know I like to watch.’

‘You’re gonna make me do all the work? You’re unbelievable!’ She doesn’t mind though, she can take care of herself. She leans up against the pillows, spreads her legs and stages a one woman show, surprises herself by following it up with an encore. Dennis hisses and rubs himself raw, scrapes his wrist and his hand bloody, as he frees his right hand at their moment of release.

He takes a packet of cigarettes and a lighter out from his jacket pocket, and slumps down next to her on the bed. ‘Don’t leave me, Dee.’

She doesn’t say anything, just slides her hand through the empty loop of plastic dangling from his wrist. It cuts her too, even though her hands are extraordinarily dainty, but Dennis doesn’t insult her, not here, not when they’re the same. He raises their linked arms to light a cigarette, and she doesn’t resist, follows his lead, and he rewards her with the second drag, and the fourth, and the sixth, and the eighth, and so on until everything finally, mercifully fades to black.


End file.
